abg sayang adik..

adik..

dah hampir 5 bln adik pergi meninggalkan mak,ayah dan abg2.kami semua rindu kan adik.adik tinggalkan kami tanpa apa2 pesan.kami rindu sgt2..

abg igt lagi,14hb november 2011 pukul 12.33,abg otw balik dr anta kwn abg.ms nk kuar dr mmu tu,abg dapat call dr ssorg.abg tgk fon,no yg xde dlm fonbook abg.abg agkt.org tu tnya dgn suara tgagap2 "abg aizal ke ni?abg ira?"..abg jwb "ye.aizal ni.sape ni?"..lepas tu,line terputus.abg biar jela.abg letak fon tu kt dashboard.xsmpai 10 saat kmdian,abg dpt call balik.org tu still dgn suara yg ggap dia,juz sbut nama adik abg yg abg syg ni "abg..ira..".."nape dgn ira??"..org tu ckp "ira..dia meninggal"..adik tau,masa tu tlepas fon abg.abg kuatkn smgt utk bckp lg dgn org tu.abg x percaya.abg ckp lg dgn org tu,jgn main2 bnda mcm ni.dia mtk abg dtg bandar sunway.then abg tdgr suara polis hjung pggilan tu..ya ALLAH..abg call kwn2 abg.abg mtk tlg diorg tmn sbb abg tkut,abg hlg kwlan nti.abg sndiri yg drive g kt tmpt adik.dlm hati abg,"adik,tggu abg.abg dtg ni.." abg dah xpk apa2 lg masa tu,abg dah xsdar apa2.klu bkn dsbbkn kwn2 abg dlm kereta tu jgak,apa2 jd kt abg ms tu abg rdha..ms tu,dlm hati abg cuma satu perkara yg abg fikir.klu btl adik dah xde,mcmna abg nk bgtau fmly kita especially mak.mak tgh x sihat.menitis jugak air mata abg ms tu bl trgtkan mak ayah.mcmna diorg nak terima semua tu???

otw ke tmpt adik tu,abg dpt pggilan.abg tgk fon,nama ayah naik.abg tkjut,sbb ms abg br gerak td,abg dah psn dkt bdk yg call abg tu,jgn bgtau mak lg.biar abg tgk adik dl.abg agkt pggilan ayah "btul ke aizal??"abg dgr suara mak menangis kt blkg.abg hya mmpu ckp "tggu ayah.bg aizal tgk dl ya".abg ckp dgn mak..mak juz mmpu cakap satu perkataan "adik.." masa tu air mata abg laju menitis.abg dpt rasa perasaan mak sbb adik la kwn yg plg baik mak pernah ada,adik la racun,adik la penawar.abg dpt rs apa mak rasa..tak lama lepas tu,abg dpt call dr abg aimal pulak.abg dgr dia meraung..dia hnya bole ckp "aizal,adik kita dah xde"..abg pujuk abg aimal,sabar la.kita terima dgn redha,ALLAH lbh syg adik kita.air mata menitis lagi..

abg tpusing2 cr tmpt adik.abg xjumpa.abg call bdk tu.bdk tu pn xmampu bg direction yg btl.dia mcm tgh takut2.abg jmp jgak last skli.abg pergi kt kondo tu.abg masuk ikt pntu pagar dpn,tya security.security tu tnjuk tmpt tu.abg lari pergi ke tmpt tu.dr jauh,abg nmpk ada satu tubuh tgh tbaring ditutup dgn kain putih.dlm hati abg masa tu adik,abg hnya bole bdoa,tu bkn adik abg..bukan adik abg..abg pergi ke arah org ramai tgh bkumpul.abg jumpa polis kt situ.dorg tya,sape abg ni.abg bgtau,"sy abg.."abg xbole nk pggl adik sbg "arwah" sbb hati abg still xtrma yg adik abg dah xde.abg tnya polis apa yg tjdi.dorg mtk abg pergi jumpa kwn adik yg ada dgn adik ms adik jatuh.abg pergi jumpa.2 org polis pgg tgn kanan,kiri abg.diorg pimpin abg pergi.adik nmpk x masa tu?bdk tu dtg kt abg,trus pgg tgn abg dan mintak maaf.dia cium tgn abg.dia mtk maaf.abg tarik tgn abg dr tgn polis tu.abg tpuk bahu dia.abg pesan"klu sygkn adik abg ni,tlgla doakan dia".polis sndiri tkjut,igtkan abg nk pukul dia..abg xkn bt bnda tu sbb abg xnk mak kita hlg sorg lg anak dia.ckupla sorang yg da pergi..abg tya apa yg tjdi,tp dia xbole nk bukak mulut pn.abg pun pergi kt tubuh yg tbaring tu.abg melutut.abg bukak kain tutup tu.dan ms tu adik mesti nampak kan,yg abg meraung.abg pegang tgn adik.abg cium dahi adik.abg ttupkan mata adik..adik mesti nampak semua tu kan?adik mesti dah sedar,yg abg sygkan adik sgt2 wlupn abg slu marah adik..air mata xkn dpt kembalikan adik abg..

adik..

kenangan dgn adik bermain dlm kepala ni..

adik igt lg x,ms abg br hbs spm.adik stdy kt mrsm pendang..

adik slu call abg,mtk duit,pizza..

pernah skli,abg dah xde duit tp adik nak guna duit nak g rombongan..

abg ada 50 je utk smpai hjg bulan..

abg start motor buruk abg,bwk motor tu dr jitra smpai ke pendang dgn pizza dlm raga motor..

tu staff meal abg tau,tp abg seronok sbb dpt bg kt adik makan pizza..biarla abg xmkn pun..

lawak ms tu adik,sbb motor buruk abg tu slow je..

bl bertembung dgn lori dr depan,abg rs motor tu mcm reverse ke blkg..

bl bas potong abg dr blkg,laju je motor abg..

abg smpai mrsm,abg bg duit dgn pizza tu..

adik gelak je bl abg cite psl motor tu..

adik..

abg igt lagi dl adik ada mtk nak jam

abg belikan utk adik..wlupn replika tp adik srnok sgt bl abg bg..

abg mtk duit kt adik ms tu,muka adik trus berubah..

masa tu adik xde duit..

abg snyum je,abg xkn mtk duit ats apa yg abg bg..

abg syg adik..

abg blikan perfume utk adik.adik happy sgt..

adik igt x..

1st time adik dtg rumah sewa abg..

adik dtg dgn kwn adik..

adik nak salam dgn abg,tapi abg bt2 xsambut salam adik..abg buat2 xnmpk sbb abg xsuka kwn adik tu..

sbenarnya adik,abg nk adik tau.abg sygkn adik.abg xsuka kwn adik tu..

entahla..hati abg kuat mengatakan yg dia akan kenakan adik..

abg mintak mf..abg sygkan adik..xsgka tu last pertemuan dgn adik abg..

abg menyesal sgt2..

skrg,adik tau x yg abg masih xdpt lpskn adik??

abg menangis mlm2..abg xdpt tido hgga ke pg..

apa abg bole bt,abg solat hajat..

mtk dgn ALLAH,tmptkn adik abg bsma hmbaNYA yg b'iman..

abg sdekahkan alfatihah dan yasin..

tiap2 bln abg blk melawat adik..

tp smua tu xdpt hlgkn rndu abg pd adik..

abg xde tmpt nk mgadu..

abg xbole mgadu pd mak nti mak mngis lg..

abg xbole mgadu pd ayah,nanti ayah sedih..

sma jgak dgn abg adik yg 2 org lg tu..

abg pendam sedih ni sorg2..

abg rindu kt adik sgt2..

tak smua org mmpu fhm..

abg dah letih dgr ayat "sabarla"..

abg bole luahkn dkt surat ni..

adik msti tau keadn abg skrgkan..

adik mst tau yg abg sygkn adik sgt2..

abg slu marahkan adik sbb abg sygkn adik sgt2..

xde yg dpt ganti adik abg ni..

seksanya nk hdpi rs "khlgn" ni..

air mata dah xmmpu nk mnitis lg..

abg igt abg ckup kuat tp tak..

abg rs abg yg paling lemah..

adik abg,nanti abg tls lagi..

abg kena tido,nti abg xbole keja..

nanti abg tls lg kt adik..

abg dah xbole tls,air mta laju mgalir ni..

sakitnya,peritnya tggung rindu ni..

last sekali abg nk ckp,abg sygkn adik smpai akhir hayat abg..

abg akn menyusul adik kmudian hari..

doa abg tiap2 hari,abg nk jumpa adik lg kt sna..

abg xkn pernah lupakn adik.abg janji!!

adik jga diri baik2 ya..abg sygkan adik..

always have been,always will be..

al-fatihah..

serabut + pening = blood pressure aku naik!!

tb2 rs nk menulis a.k.a menaip di pg buta ni..aku sgt sbuk skrg ni..ada 3 or 4 event kena bt dlm ms tdekat..sigh..1st event,event Festari 2010 (festival tari piala Tun Dr Siti Hasmah) on 13th April 2010..eventho aku bkn ahli sakti(kelab yg handle event ni) tp aku tlg2 je..sbb rmai kwn2 dlm kelab ni..aku sgt2 srbut d'sbbkn aku xska laa hndle event yg dlm2 dwn n formal..sbb kena jga protokol dia laa,apelaa..ssh2..tp xpe,take it as responsibility and kpcyaan kwn2 da bg.ambik jela..nver step down bl da ambik tgngjwb tsbut..daaaaaa*smbil agkt tgn dan bt mka skit*...event ni lain skit dr previous event festari coz insyaALLAH mybe VVIP nyaa Tunku Ampuan Besar Negeri Sembilan dtg..(mf klu slh eja).so fhm2 laa protokol nyaa mcmna kn??tkutnyaa aku..tkut ada tslah dan tsilap during d event..dgn kena g istana lg,mau jmpa Tunku Ampuan Besar tu.but..insyaALLAH i'll give my best dgn support rkan2 fid,cha,pian,moy,nue,nik,rain,eoi dan smua komiti yg lain.. ;) pd kwn2,jomlaa dtg..tgk org menari2 + cari jdoh..hahahaha...*mcm harunn* statement..apa pn,aku hppy + excited + nervous tggu ari event utk tgk result ssh pyh ktorg..coz,nk tau success or x satu2 event tu kna tgk pd outcomenyaa..klu smua sttle dgn lncar dan less prob(xde event yg xde prob ;P) means success laa event tu..wishin and prayin,semuanyaa b'jln lncar..insyaALLAH :) 2nd event,trnament futsal for tonga's mber kt SK..tournament ni 18hb April 2010..5 ari lps festari..insyaALLAH,trnament ni b'jln dgn lncar afta aku tgk smua dtail2 trnament..rsnyaa xde prob kot..juz,aku kena fkir skrg psl hari mgundi team on 1st April 2010 ni..xdpt bygn lg,how d things will work..aku fkir later2 laa..mls nk fkir skrg..tgh srbut sbb ada bnda2 yg mnyerabutkn..huu..so,wish me gud luck..yg 2 event lg tu,mls nk tls sbb aku da mamai ni..kena bthan skit je lg utk subuh..then tido smpai raya cina taun dpn..hahaha..salam.........

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Merenung Kenangan..

Dalam Ku Merenung

Kenangan Masa Silam

Ku Cuba Memahami

Apa Sebenar Terjadi

Mungkinkah Salahku

Ataupun Sikapmu

Hingga Cinta Kita Ketandusan

Pernah Ku Ungkapkan

Engkaulah Segala

Namun Padamu itu

Semua Tiada Bermakna

Apakah Maksudmu

Masihkah Kau Ragu

Nilai Cinta Padamu

Tiada Batasnya

Kini Ku Sedari

Perasaan Hati

Tanpa Engkau Di sisi

Tiada Makna Ku Bermimpi

Inikah Balasan

Di Atas Keikhlasan

Hingga Diri Ini Disingkirkan

Mengapa Aku Di Sini

Masih Menanti Dan Menyayangi

Walau Hati Disakiti

Tidak Terlintas Utk Membenci

Kini Baru Ku sedari

Atas Kedaifan Diri

Segala Janji janji Kau Mungkiri

Biarlah Aku Di sini

Mengubati Luka Di Hati

Setia Aku di Sini

Menanti dan Terus Menanti

Walau Apa pun Dugaan

Akan Tetap Ku Harungi

Sehingga Nadi Ku Terhenti...............

*Dedicated To Someone*

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Heartbeat..

The heart that you stepped all over and left

is still beating. and it's beating for you..

No matter how hard i try to forget,

no matter how many new people i meet,

why do i keep thinking of only you when i turn around??

i don't want to do this anymore..

i want to stop..

no matter how many times i try and try to stop myself,it's no use..

my heart is broken..why??

Why do i keep doing such foolish things??

i know in my head,but why is my heart rebelling??

i'm holding on to you and can't let go..

it still feels like you're next to me..

i can't believe in farewell....

No matter who i meet,i can't open up one part of my heart and i keep your place empty...

there's no reason for you come back,but why do i keep thinking that you might come back??

why isn't my heart listening..??

I have to forget..

i have to forget in order to live..

i have to erase it.if i don't,i'll 'die'..

stop trying to get her back.she ain't coming..

she's gone,gotta be moving on..

she left..she won't come back..she doesn't......

She doesn't know that i'm waiting for her,she's doing well..

she already forgot about me,totally erased me..

why can't i do that??

Listen to my heartbeat.. it's beating for you.......

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For The Broken Hearted

This is for the broken hearted. I know how you feel. Empty, betrayed, and no happiness whatsoever. You don't want to laugh, because you know it's not going to help, but you don't want to cry, because it will just make you feel worse. You feel like your heart is falling apart, but not only that, but you know soon your life is going to feel like it's falling apart too. You don't think it will ever end, and no matter what this person has done to you, it feels impossible to stop loving them. And everyone wonders why if they have hurt you so much, then why do you still love them. That's the confusing part, you don't know why, you just do, and the people who hurt you the most, and normally the ones you love the most. And then, after a few weeks, you finally feel a sense of relief, like you're getting happy again, but you know inside that you're just going into denial. And after a few more weeks, you're back to where you were an empty soul and teary eyes. You thought you got over them, but really, you just stopped showing it. And you can't help but to show it again. It leaves deep scars on your heart that are there forever. And no one understands how you feel, and how deep you are hurt, no matter who they are, because it hasn't happened to them And even if it has, every broken heart is different. They don't know the true pain you feel and carry each and everyday now, so you learn that basically you are alone with all this. And the feeling starts to overwhelm you, and suddenly you just break down, right there, because you know you've had enough, the tears just instantly start flowing, and you're to the point where you don't care who see's. Because you've spent so many nights lying awake in bed, and so many days being haunted by the scars and fear of rejection. And in the midst of all these tears, you know that its not helping any, and it's not going to bring them back, if you ever even had them in the first place. After about a million tears have been cried, you finally pull yourself back together and keep going. Your throat starts to clench and your eyes burn with the tears you are trying to hold back. Everyone says, "It will be okay…” But you know it won't. And that’s the truth, it won’t. And you look back on all of the hurt you had from this, and you realize that people are horrible. You're still hurt, but you've learned to hide it so that everyone thinks you are okay. So now every time you see this person, you know you still love them, and you feel a slight tingle in your heart yearning for them to love you, screaming out, but for some reason they don't hear it. And then you sit back and wonder how one person could have caused all of this...


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Sesuatu di antara waktu....

salam...dan selamat pagi..korg sihat??hrp2 sihatlaa ye..thanxlaa pd yg sudi baca blog aku ni....mmm,aku rasa..aku sgt bosan.tu yg rasa nak menulis coz dah lama sgt xmenulis@menaip :p
mm..aku nk ckp psl apa ek?okla..aku ckp psl kehidupanla secara general..aku xdelaa tau atau fhm sgt psl kehidupan ni..juz adala tau2 skit,xbyk pun.cuma apa yg aku dpt dr melihat,mendengar,menghidu (mcmna aku bole menghidu pulak ni?) dan yg pling pnting megalaminya..sbb kita hya akn fhm sesuatu keadn tu bila kita pernah mengalaminya..perit ke,best ke,boring ke..apa2 pnlaa perasaan kita tu,yg plg pnting kita dh dpt ssuatu yg sgt bhrga d'pggil pengalaman..heeeee...pengalaman ialah sbaik2 guru..org ckplaa..tp mmg btl pun coz dgn pglaman tulaa yg mbtkan kita lbih bhati2 dlm mbuat ssuatu kptsn,lbih bijak dlm menilai mn yg baik n mn yg bruk n etc...sng ckp,pglmn ni yg mbtkan kita lbih kuat dan bijaksana dlm mghadapi ssuatu keadaan n situasi..xkira apa pn situasi tu,main bola ke,main futsal ke,main badminton ke,(eh apeha smua main ni??tukar2) bercinta ke,berkawan ke,shopping ke..haa,da xlarat aku nk tulis smua keadaan dan situasi..smua keadaan yg aku sebut atau mgkin aku xsebut di ats sgt2 prlukan pglaman..klu kita xde pglman,jgn tkut utk mncuba.bila kita cuba,barulaa kita bole dpt menatang tu,iaitu pengalaman..tp kdg2,ada sstgh pihak bila dia dah mencuba n da dpt pglaman dia da serik.dia ckp aku dah penatla,xtau nk bt mcmna dahla,mcm2la....jgn!!jgn give up!!jgn sskli putus asa tp truslaa mencuba (pesan utk diri sndiri jugak ni)..sbb rezeki dan hikmah tu ada d mn2..ALLAH dah janjikan pd hambaNya yg DIA akn kurniakan rezeki pd org2 yg sbar(org yg xkenal pts asala)..(mfla klu ayat kurg tepat tp smthg like dat laa)..ALLAH sentiasa bersama hambaNya yg sabar..gagal skli,bkn bmkna ggal slmanya..klu skli cb,fail..2nd pulak gagal..3rd pulak kurg berjaya..cuba lg...jgn brnti dr mencuba..chaiyok2..kita hya merancang tp ALLAH yg tntukan..ALLAH suka pd hmbaNya yg xkenal erti putus asa (yg baik2 je tau) tmsuklaa dlm memohon keampunan dr DIA..bila kita xbhnti dr mcuba,dlm keadn kita yg kurg sedar kita dah dpt pengalaman so dat kita akn lbh well prepared utk cuba lg next round..cnth yg plg mudah ada d skliling korg..hya prlukan skiiiiiiit je msa utk korg berfikir..bila korg nk berfkir,korg akn dpt tau d mn kelemahan n kelbihan korg..so dtmbah skit dgn pglaman yg korg dpt,korg akn jd lbih ManToPPP...selepas berusaha,korg berdoa laa..then baru boleh sebut tawakkal..tawakkal ialah selepas kita berusaha dan berdoa..jgn berhenti berdoa..ALLAH suka pd hmbaNya yg selalu merintih pdNya...tabah laa dlm menghadapi apa jua keadaan coz stiap kesusahan ada kesenangannya,stiap yg sukar pasti ada manfaatnya...percayalaa..juz sntiasa bbaik sgka pd stiap apa yg berlaku dan selalu2 lah think positif..(igtkan diri aku jugak)...insyaALLAH dgn izin ALLAH akn ada hikmah menanti kita d msa dpn..cpat atau lmbat je... =)
okla..eden dah mgntuk gak ni..penat gak menaip ni kan..haha..mflah klu ada kkurgn..aku hyalah hmbaNya yg lemah,xlepas dr bt silap..apa2 pun,jgn pts asa... =D ..aku mtk diri dl..insyaALLAH ada msa lg,aku akn conteng2 lg dkt blog sape ntah ni.......eh blog aku..lpa lak...ok..ttyl..brb..salam..


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Rahmat Ujian..

Dalam derita ada bahagia
dalam gembira mungkin terselit luka
tak siapa tahu
tak siapa pinta ujian bertamu..

Bibir mudah mengucap sabar
tapi hatilah yg remuk menderita
mempunyai pelbagai tafsiran..

Segala takdir
terimalah dgn hati yg terbuka
walau terseksa ada hikmahnya..

Harus ada rasa bersyukur
di setiap kali ujian menjelma
itu jelasnya membuktikan
ALLAH mengasihimu setiap masa
diuji tahap keimanan dan kesabaran
sedang rasa terbiar dilalaikan
hanya yg terpilih sahaja
antara berjuta mendapat rahmatNya..

Segala takdir
terimalah dengan hati yg terbuka
walau terseksa ada hikmahnya..

ALLAH rindu mendengarkan
rintihanmu berpanjangan
bersyukurlah dan tabahlah menghadapi
segala ujian diberi
maka bersyukurlah selalu..


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